3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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