Porn is love you can see.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize