Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
