$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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