if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
