It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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