Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize