we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback