Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays