Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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