Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
