i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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