Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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