At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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