I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
