I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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