some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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