u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
