we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
