Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
