I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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