someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i dont even know how to be here
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
