just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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