I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
