Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
ok first of all what the fuck
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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