What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can't put those talents on a resume
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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