oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
COCAINE IS GR8
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
