$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
