I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
