Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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