I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
