His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize