Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
