Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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