i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
