Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize