I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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