Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
