he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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