I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
