Are we in a gay sports bar?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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