I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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