How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
