What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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