Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He did a backflip because drugs
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