I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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