grinding to god bless the USA? really?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.