I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know