it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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