when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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