Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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