you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
