I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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