Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
