Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
