She's JV to your varsity
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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