i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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