I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Pants are for mortals
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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