covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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