if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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