If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
