If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
