normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
