So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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