She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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