He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
